Trust Jesus! by Kelly Burnett

In 2017, Natalie and I started out on the ride of our life with God.  We had NO idea where God would take SOULWELL Ministries, or what we were doing.  What we did know is that God was calling us to step out in faith and we were determined to TRUST JESUS no matter what the cost.  God has led us every step of the way. Daily He shows us what we need to know before we even know we need to know it. It’s amazing to see how He uses every part of our skill sets that we have developed over the course of our lifetime and perfectly blends our hearts and personalities as we give our all to serve Him.  And when He doesn’t show us how to do something or we feel stuck, He connects us to someone who not only knows what we need to know, they are eager to help. Truly, Jesus has been showing off for us over and over again.

We both know He knew He had to start us like this because we would have been too chicken to keep moving forward if too many problems started popping up too soon.  He’s a good, good Father and He knows what we need to know and He is so, so smart…all we have to do is to TRUST JESUS and He keeps leading us. Our first year in developing the ministry was fairly easy if you take out all the paperwork and business stuff we were not the least bit interested in, we just wanted to offer retreats, but we did it because our faithful advisors told us to.  We are thankful we listened to their advice because there is no way we would have time to go back and do it now.

In the middle of Houston reeling from Hurricane Harvey, shaking in our boots, we sent emails to a select group of women to join us for our SOULWELL Journey Pilot team, we were hoping for six women to agree to journey with us.  God blew us away and brought 18! We couldn’t wait for January to arrive and take the first journey together.

Our second year in ministry started off with a bang, our AWAKENING Pilot weekend was a HUGE success in spite of the million tricks and distractions the enemy tried to throw at us.  Our sisters started having breakthroughs we could have only hoped they would get to at the end of their journeys, not the beginning. God was so faithful and just kept confirming over and over again we were on the right track.  Most everything we tried on the retreats worked and most surprisingly our time estimates even were on target. Everything was GOLDEN and I left our first retreat floating on the highest spiritual marker of my life.

Not only 45 minutes after arriving home that Sunday, my world began to crumble.  Just after sharing with my husband about our amazing feedback and reviews I noticed our beloved Bella, the sweetest boxer pup ever was having a hard time standing.  Within just a few short hours she was barely breathing, an hour later we had to rush her to the emergency vet and it didn’t look like she would make it through the night.  Three vets later and a trip to Aggieland confirmed our worst fears for her, at only seven years old she had stage 4 cancer and we only had weeks with her left on earth. Watching my husband, kids and Bella suffer hurt my heart and if it were not for the soul work we do at SOULWELL I think I would have become a hot mess.  We had so much to do and taking care of a sick dog was not on the agenda. But God! I continued to surrender to Him and He continued building the ministry.

Then three weeks later, life threw out another curveball and this one was way more serious.  After a mini-stroke and trip to the ER, my mom’s doctors discovered she had stage four bone cancer in her brain and it had already spread to her liver and bloodstream.  They estimated she had six months to a year left with us. We said farewell to our Bella in March of 2018, the same week my mom was diagnosed with cancer. And in less than three months, on Memorial Day weekend (the same weekend I lost my dad to cancer 35 years prior), my mom passed.  It was two weeks before our last retreat on the SOULWELL Journey Pilot team.

As life would have it, the trials of this season were not over for me.  Three weeks after my mom died, the doctors discovered what had been plaguing my son for two years.  Brock was diagnosed with Narcolepsy, a chronic and incurable life long sleep disorder that often ruins people’s lives. As a result, he had to withdraw from Baylor University for the summer.  It took tons of time and advocating for Brock on my part, for Baylor to accept his medical condition. We finally came to an agreement that the diagnosis had caused a crisis in his life, and he needed to be afforded a retroactive withdrawal back from the spring semester in order to save his future as a Baylor Bear.  We finally heard word after multiple appeals all summer, that we won our case and all was set right for our favorite Bear. It seriously felt like the most stressful season of my adult life. I was exhausted and kept praying for God to make this season stop!

While the season didn’t stop, God didn’t either.  He kept blowing us away, we opened registration for our first SOULWELL Journey for women and within two days we were on a waitlist.  We took our size from 18 women to 30 in just two weeks, and then we were on a wait-list for the rest of the year. He just about hand delivered the perfect retreat center for us to use and parted the seas for them to be willing to negotiate their contract terms and reduce deposits and fees so we could afford to do this all as a new ministry.  

The last curveball of 2018 hit when I was finally coming up for air after hearing from Baylor that Brock would be ok.  It was only the second week of school, of my daughters senior year when I received the phone call that every parent dreads, it was just after 8:00 in the morning when I heard my daughter,  Brynne, crying hysterically, “mom I’ve been in a wreck…” and then the phone went silent.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I drove up on! Her jeep was completely totaled as was the truck that ran into her.  My heart sank as I arrived on that scene, and for what seemed like forever I couldn’t find her. When I did find her, I joyfully ran to her and she hopped in my arms like she used to when she was in kindergarten and just sobbed and sobbed.  Thankfully, her injuries appeared minor and I could only see bruising on her legs, knee, and face and she had second and third-degree burns on her thigh from the airbag. No glass on her beautiful face, no broken bones, both the police officer and tow truck driver told me it was a miracle she was walking away from this and I knew it was true.

We had about 12 hours of just praising and thankfulness in our hearts for her life being spared before the nightmare started.  That night we realized Brynne had a Traumatic Brain Injury and the season I thought couldn’t get any worse just imploded and I felt so overwhelmed and broken I didn’t know how to keep going.  That night as I sobbed in the arms of Jesus, I heard Him answer my prayer to make the season stop. He told me I needed to change my prayer, instead of asking Him to rescue us out of the season I needed to ask Him to give me more of Him so I could make it through any season.  Best prayer ever. My What if’s began to turn to Even if's and God and I went to a whole new peak in our relationship. It’s been the hardest eight months of being a mom in my life and we are still not out of the woods. However, my soul is free, and my heart is full of the Peace that can only be Jesus Himself living in me.  

The ‘sacred rhythms’ God brought me to seven years ago as He started developing me to create SOULWELL literally kept me afloat all of these months.  The days have not been easy, and there is always more work to do for SOULWELL than Natalie and I have hours to give. However, Jesus just keeps bringing me back to the WELL, to resting in His grace and plans and growing my faith muscle as I keep trusting Him.